I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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