The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
