What did we do last night that was yellow?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just cropdusted the office
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The uberlube is also flammable
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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