Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize