And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
