I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
