no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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