I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
