I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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