"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
