gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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