Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
