she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
