her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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