arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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