if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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