i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
