I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So squirting runs in the family.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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