we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
