I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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