I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
