I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
