two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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