She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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