I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.