Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
