It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
