nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
