but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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