Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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