saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
