sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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