This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
