weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
