I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
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WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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