i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My hand turned me down
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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