I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you win again, gameday.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
