Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  so that wasnt chicken after all

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  (910): so that wasnt chicken after all http://tfl.nu/1f1r
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (1129)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?

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  (502): Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels? http://tfl.nu/vpae
  Replies (12) Good night (1192) Bad night (3900)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.

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  (401): she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch! (508): because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking. http://tfl.nu/qlq5
  Replies (20) Good night (9127) Bad night (1260)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.

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  (502): We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears. http://tfl.nu/e7ru
  Replies (4) Good night (949) Bad night (3503)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....

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  (814): Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly.... http://tfl.nu/m1mg
  Replies (6) Good night (1171) Bad night (1765)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.

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  (845): Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer. http://tfl.nu/vrnz
  Replies (4) Good night (1774) Bad night (733)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.

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  (605): This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired. http://tfl.nu/sykd
  Replies (1) Good night (2429) Bad night (737)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Are you still goin to the xmas party?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Yaaaa why?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .

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  (902): Are you still goin to the xmas party? (1-902): Yaaaa why? (902): Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field . http://tfl.nu/wque
  Replies (5) Good night (1645) Bad night (1035)
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  (408): View more from California

  I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.

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  (408): I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER. http://tfl.nu/adi1
  Replies (7) Good night (1398) Bad night (611)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.

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  (215): I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident. http://tfl.nu/6tc4
  Replies (13) Good night (1630) Bad night (696)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs

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  (217): his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs http://tfl.nu/kqhn
  Replies (7) Good night (1590) Bad night (444)
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  (949): View more from California

  Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut

  (714): View more from California

  I think mark twain said that originally

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  (949): Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut (714): I think mark twain said that originally http://tfl.nu/28hc
  Replies (6) Good night (1540) Bad night (397)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.

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  (301): Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher. http://tfl.nu/xgiu
  Replies (2) Good night (1121) Bad night (384)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago

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  (443): If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago http://tfl.nu/tavn
  Replies (4) Good night (356) Bad night (323)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.

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  (303): I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle. http://tfl.nu/isj2
  Replies (0) Good night (1017) Bad night (189)

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