My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just google imaged poop.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.