i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?