so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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