i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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