Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
