I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
