i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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