I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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