I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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