Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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