Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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