The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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