How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
