Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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