I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I smell like Dick and happiness
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