I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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