so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
