She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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