I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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