If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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