i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
