these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
