is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize