My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize