Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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