He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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