Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the condom got lost in my hair
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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